On frustration and milkshakes

And when I hit a wall, I find I strike mostly brutally out at myself. My frustration-induced appetite for destruction seems only to be satiated by an attack at the heart of me. As if a punishment for having to seep down into that lowly mortal emotion of frustration; I'm rubbing my own face in it. "You've failed and are failing; here, have some more fail."

And so I eat a hamburger, or drink a milkshake. I wallow in the failure and proceed to feeling guilty; hating myself for the whole cycle, repeated once again.

Maybe I should just get a milkshake when I want one and not when I feel like I've failed at something? Am I creating a positive feedback loop for failure? Subconscious wants a milkshake but won't tell conscious b/c knows conscious will rationally will the desire away. Subconscious takes matters into its own hands and triggers frustration to induce feelings of failure. Subconscious gets the milkshake.

Or maybe I just like a milkshake after I fail at something because it makes me feel better? A little bit of store bought happiness; for a bit?

Anyhow, I gotta cut it out. All these milkshakes, awesome steaks, and cupcakes are starting to make my heart hurt.